Amelia Elias - [Guardian's League 02] - Outcast Read online

  She closed her eyes. Somehow, not seeing him while every inch of her body pressed against his only heightened the eroticism of the moment. “I can’t?” she whispered, hardly aware of what she was saying, only wanting to prolong this moment. Kiss me, she thought again, every cell yearning for him.

  “You have to stop,” he said, and she trembled as the words flowed along the line of her jaw. She gasped when his teeth scraped the tender skin there. He growled again, his mouth moving to her ear.

  “I’m not—not looking at you,” she whispered as she tilted her head to the side and he drew her earlobe into his mouth. His tongue flicked and caressed, and molten heat pooled low in her belly. If he didn’t kiss her soon she was going to die, she knew it.

  He shuddered against her. “You can’t think of me this way,” he ground out, and she knew he’d either touched her mind or she’d sent her desire straight to him. When his mouth covered hers, any last shreds of rational thought disintegrated.

  Her lips parted at once and she moaned at the hot and utterly masculine taste of him. Tongues dueling, twining and caressing, the kiss was hot and wet and utterly decadent. She tried to lift her hands, to put her arms around him, but his fingers tightened around her wrists and held her captive.

  This was no tentative first kiss. There was nothing cautious about the way he explored her and nothing shy in her uninhibited responses. He took her mouth as though it was his right, and she reveled in the taking. She arched beneath him, needing to feel more of him, her tongue teasing his, following his lead before pulling back to draw him into her mouth to play. His deep groan mingled with her moan of pleasure.

  More!

  The single word echoed desperately in her mind and she didn’t know if the thought was hers or his. His hips pressed against hers and she whimpered, wishing he would release her hands and let her press him even closer. She slid her leg against his, caressing his calf with her bare foot. His body shifted to press intimately between her thighs and Renee wrapped her leg around his in invitation, wanting the promise of his passion more than she wanted her next breath. More, it’s not enough—

  “No!”

  Eli tore himself away from her and was across the room before Renee could react to the sudden withdrawal of such intense pleasure. She pushed herself up on her elbows, her entire body trembling, and watched him throw open the door. Surely he wasn’t going to leave without a word! “Eli?”

  He spun and looked at her with such intensity she shivered. “That can never happen again,” he said harshly, running both hands through his hair and sucking in a deep breath. “Never, do you hear me? It’s forbidden!”

  Renee somehow managed to get to her feet even though she wasn’t positive her knees would support her. When he spoke, she caught a glimpse of his fangs, but instead of terrifying her now the sight of them sent a thrill through her. Her kiss had unleashed the untamed, animalistic side of him, and she reveled in the knowledge that she had the power to do that to him. Her own fangs ached with a hunger which had nothing to do with blood. Why was he was pulling away?

  “I don’t understand,” she managed, trying to ignore her shaking knees.

  He glared at her from the doorway and she stopped, realizing she’d been walking toward him. “What don’t you understand? I am your sire! I am supposed to be a father to you, not—not—” Unable to find the word he sought, he sent a furious look at the floor where they’d embraced a moment before. “It’s wrong!”

  “You are not my father, Eli,” Renee said with a calm she did not feel. “Why must it be wrong? You took nothing I didn’t wish to give!”

  His jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists. “It will not happen again,” he vowed through gritted teeth, and then he was gone.

  Eli shot through the fissure to the surface and streaked across the sky, hardly paying any attention to where he was going, only knowing he had to get away before it was too late. Regardless of what he’d told her, every cell of his body knew he was not her sire. He didn’t stop until he was far, far from the city, high in the mountains. He sucked in great lungfuls of the bitterly cold air, trying desperately to cool the fire blazing in his veins.

  It was no use. He fell to his knees in the snow and pressed his fists against his temples. You took nothing I didn’t wish to give… He groaned at the very memory of her words. Sweet heaven, why had he kissed her? What madness had compelled him to do such a foolish thing? Her taste still lingered on his tongue, her scent clung to his skin, and Eli thought he would explode from the desire rocking his body. There had been no fear in her, no hesitancy. Just passion matching his own and taking him utterly by surprise.

  What else would she have given if he hadn’t stopped when he had?

  He threw his head back and roared out his frustration and pain to the heavens, uncaring who might hear. He was a fool, a stupid, reckless fool who didn’t have any business acting as Renee’s sire. He never should have taken this responsibility. Didn’t he have enough proof that he was too flawed to be what she needed?

  Yet despite it all he’d brought her to his home, knowing she was doomed already and hoping that against all the odds he could save her. Hoping she would learn only what he wanted to teach her and not be influenced by what he was.

  He squeezed his eyes shut, hardly feeling the freezing wind whipping around him as he fought against the bitter memories. Hope. Why the hell had he ever thought to hope for anything? When would he learn?

  Only the approaching dawn broke him from the hell of his memories and self-disgust and at last he returned home, his heart heavy and his body still burning for a woman he didn’t dare to touch again.

  * * *

  Renee woke with the sunset but didn’t get up. She closed her eyes and took a deep, fortifying breath.

  She needed all the fortifying she could get before she saw Eli again.

  His kiss lived vividly in her memory. The thought of it was enough to make her breath quicken and her knees tremble. She knew she hadn’t been the only one to feel the power of it. He had been every bit as desperate and aroused as she.

  But he had the strength to walk away.

  Renee didn’t. She finally threw back the blankets and forced herself to get out of bed. She didn’t want to walk away. She wanted more.

  She wanted…everything.

  This rule about sires and fledglings seemed ridiculous to her. Eli wasn’t her father, no matter how much he wanted her to see him in that role, and last night had proved he certainly didn’t see her as a daughter. Did he honestly expect her to give up the incredible fire between them just because of some arbitrary rule? She wanted Eli, he wanted her. What else mattered?

  Renee dressed with care, knowing Eli would likely take her to another club to feed as he had every night for the last three weeks. She’d gotten better at it, lightly brushing the minds of her prey—she still shuddered at the term—instead of blasting them and notifying all nearby vampires of her presence. She’d learned how to close the wounds made by her fangs and how to cloak her presence from humans. She knew how to slip away unnoticed should something go wrong. Still, for every skill she’d learned, there were a thousand more she still didn’t know.

  She fought that feeling of inferiority as she pulled on a velvet catsuit which almost matched the rich topaz of her eyes, deciding she’d had enough of black for a while. At the last moment, she wove her hair into a long braid and twisted it into a knot at the back of her head. Without a reflection she wasn’t sure exactly what she looked like, but she thought the sleeker look would suit the form-fitting catsuit.

  Eli was waiting in the den for her. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind. She paused outside the doorway and took a steadying breath, trying to force herself not to remember their kiss or how devastating his body had felt against hers.

  When she stepped into the den, she looked everywhere but at Eli. She heard him get to his feet and the silence grew oppressive enough to suffocate her, but she couldn
’t say a word. Whether she looked at him or not didn’t seem to matter. She felt his gaze on her as he stood and approached, but she merely stared at the tapestry on the back wall.

  Finally he took a breath and suddenly Renee knew what he was about to say. She beat him to it. “Don’t apologize. Don’t you dare.”

  His dark gaze caught and held her. He wore all black again tonight, jeans and tee shirt and long leather duster, but his moonlight hair hung free over his shoulders. She thought she glimpsed a glint of silver at each hip before he shoved his hands into his pockets, drawing the jacket closed. He looked away first.

  “Let’s go,” he said, turning and leading her toward the entryway. “I didn’t take you out to feed last night. You must be hungry.”

  Renee didn’t reply. What good was stopping his apology when he instead pretended it hadn’t happened? There was nothing to say. That kiss had been incredible, and she refused to regret it, even if he did.

  Eli took them downtown and into a dance club without speaking. She didn’t try to break the silence. Renee walked away from him as soon as they materialized in a dark corner and he watched her go with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’d hurt her, damn it. It was the last thing he’d wanted to do.

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she moved through the crowd, her lithe body winding through the press of dancers. The vibrant catsuit hugged her curves. It was enough to make his mouth water. He watched her smile at a man who spoke to her, watched her follow him onto the dance floor and sway in time with the music as he wrapped his arms around her. Eli couldn’t force himself to look away when she leaned against her chosen prey, drawing him close before pressing her mouth gently to his throat.

  Jealousy burst through him with staggering intensity. The man’s hands ran up and down Renee’s spine as she fed and his hips brushed suggestively against hers with every move he made. Eli’s fists clenched and his muscles ached from the effort it took to keep from rushing over there and tearing him from her arms. He closed his eyes against the unexpected but undeniable surge of rage. She’s just feeding, he told himself fiercely, trying to rationalize the fury away. She isn’t doing anything wrong. She’s only doing what you taught her to do. Get hold of yourself!

  But by the heavens, he hated it. There was nothing rational about it at all.

  Eli was moving before he even knew he intended to, cutting through the crowd separating them without even seeing the people he pushed aside. Every ounce of his attention was focused on Renee and the gentle motions of her lips against the man’s throat. He felt the tiny surge of power when she healed the man’s neck as he stopped beside them.

  Renee released him from her mental compulsion just as Eli’s hand came down hard on his shoulder.

  “What?” he demanded, turning and glaring at Eli for the interruption.

  “You’re finished,” Eli said, his fingers tightening on the mortal’s shoulder. “Go away. Now.”

  The man looked like he wanted to argue but when he looked Eli up and down, he didn’t quite dare. He settled for a muttered curse and a glare as he released Renee and left the dance floor. Eli watched him go before turning back to her.

  Renee looked up at him, wide-eyed in surprise. “Why did you do that?”

  He didn’t answer. Admitting to jealousy was out of the question, and he couldn’t think of any other explanation she wouldn’t see through at once.

  “Are you finished here?” he asked, but he hardly recognized his own voice. He hoped she was. The thought of watching her take another man out on the dance floor and hold him close—

  Thankfully she nodded. Eli took her hand and led her through the crowd toward the club entrance, but she stopped before they reached the exit. He looked back at her questioningly. “What is it?”

  Renee shrugged and he tried desperately not to notice the gentle sway of her breasts with the movement. Tried not to remember how they had felt pressed against his chest last night. She licked her lips and something inside him stretched so tight he feared it would snap. Eli cursed himself bitterly for his lack of control as he tried to force his thoughts back into something resembling what a sire should feel for his fledgling. He felt like he was losing his mind.

  “—a drink or something?” she was saying, and he tried to focus on her words rather than how delicious she looked in that catsuit.

  It was a losing proposition from the start.

  “What?” Eli asked, realizing she was looking at him expectantly.

  Renee shook her head at him. “You weren’t paying any attention to me, were you?” she asked, but she was smiling.

  Oh, he’d been paying attention to her all right, but he certainly hadn’t been listening. The gentle curve of her smiling lips distracted him mightily and he couldn’t help but remember their taste.

  “Sorry,” he replied, extremely glad she couldn’t read his mind. “Say again?”

  “I said, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the night?” Renee repeated. “I mean, we haven’t had a break since—well, since the beginning. I have no desire to go back and have you kick my butt some more. Would it be too much to ask to have a night out, have a drink and dance or something?”

  Bad idea. Very, very bad idea. Eli started to tell her no but when he looked down at her he couldn’t do it. Her eyes sparkled at him like golden jewels, hypnotic in their beauty, and he couldn’t bear to see disappointment in them. He knew he’d been driving her hard over the last month. She’d done everything he’d asked her to do and instead of backing off, he’d only pushed her harder. Surely a night out wasn’t too much to give her in return.

  If she wanted to dance, he wouldn’t stop her. It didn’t mean he would have to dance with her, and there was no way in hell he would watch, but he wouldn’t stop her. “If you wish,” he sighed, giving in to the inevitable.

  Her brilliant smile lit the dark club and washed him in light. He felt a little dazed by it, but by now he was almost getting used to feeling that way around her.

  “Come on,” Renee urged, tugging at his hand and leading him toward the bar. “Let’s get something to drink.” Then she paused, seeming to consider. “It won’t make me sick again, will it?”

  Eli shook his head. “Just one,” he cautioned, remembering how she had reacted to the anticoagulant in the bagged blood. “You should be fine with one.” He would make sure she was fine. She wanted it, and what she wanted, he’d provide.

  He groaned as he realized the direction his thoughts had taken. He was thinking of her the way a vampire thought of his mate, not his fledgling. This had to stop!

  Renee grinned again and pulled him toward the bar, ignoring how he dragged his feet. For a moment, she pretended nothing had changed, that she was still a normal woman out for a night of fun on the town, and even Eli’s obvious reluctance couldn’t bring down her mood.

  She glanced back at Eli. “What do you want?” she asked, beckoning to the bartender.

  The heated look in his eyes made her blush. Good Lord, she thought vaguely, those eyes should be outlawed. But he only shrugged, finally releasing her hand and crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing. I don’t want anything.”

  She made a face. “Come on, you have to have a favorite drink.”

  “Well, now that you mention it, I do. B positive.”

  Renee laughed. He’d been so solemn tonight she’d been afraid his rather odd sense of humor had gone into hibernation. “You’re on your own there,” she told him as the bartender stopped beside her and she ordered a pair of Bloody Marys. She held out a glass to him with a little smile. “Best I can do.”

  “It’ll work.” He took a drink and she found herself unable to look away as he licked his lips. Yes, that mouth should definitely be outlawed right along with his eyes. Vivid flashbacks of their sizzling kiss filled her mind and she bit her lip, wishing she had the guts to grab him and kiss him again to refresh her memory. He set the glass on the bar beside her and bent closer. She drew in a sharp breath in a
nticipation but he only murmured in her ear. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

  She remembered he hadn’t fed yet and nodded, trying without success to ignore his breath on her ear. Shivers traced the length of her spine.

  It truly was eerie how Eli disappeared into a crowd. He moved through the crowded room like a breeze, untouchable. She knew he concealed his swords beneath his long leather duster but when he moved there was no hint at all of their presence. Women turned to watch him pass with appreciative glances he didn’t even seem to notice. Another two steps and he was gone. She blinked. How in the world did someone as distinctive as Eli just melt into the mass of humanity? That was a trick she couldn’t wait to learn.

  Renee picked up their drinks and moved away from the bar, looking without much hope for an empty table. Against the odds, she spotted one. But as she reached it, a pair of men set their beers down on it.

  One looked up and saw her. His eyes widened for a second before he smiled broadly. “Were you headed for this table?” he asked, shouting to be heard over the pounding beat of the music. Renee nodded and shrugged, already turning to look for another free table. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Don’t run off, darlin’. We’re happy to share,” he offered.

  Renee smiled at him and set her drinks down. “Thanks.”

  He held out his hand to her. “I’m Jess, and this is Lou.” She shook hands with them both and gave her own name. “Are you here with someone?” Jess asked, glancing at the two drinks.

  Renee hesitated, not knowing quite how to answer. “A friend,” she said after a moment.

  Jess’s grin broadened. “Great! Your friend can dance with Lou, and you can dance with me. Come on!” She had to laugh at the mental image of Eli dancing with Lou as she let Jess lead her back toward the dance floor.